Monologue - Our Better Natures

I had to write a second monologue for my creative writing class, but this time the character had to be someone who did something most would consider good yet still regretted the decision they made. I chose to have this monologue exist in the same universe as the first one, except this time the character speaking is one of the cult members rather than the leader. I don't think it's as good as the first, but it's alright.

Trisha: I’m not sure anymore, about our Father. I listened to him for so long, his word became truth. His voice comforts and resonates throughout my body and I drown in his bright blue eyes. Father’s always smiling, his words sound so beautiful, but I don’t understand what he’s saying anymore. I can’t get the words he uses or the ideas he shares because it’ so different from how things used to be. When I first came to Father everything he said just made sense.

Everything changed when the Interloper joined us. The Interloper, Bobby, joined to get close to me, and he died because of me. I was selfish, and my selfishness cost Bobby his life, so I wanted to repent. Father speaks of repentance often, and I still think he’s right, right that we must work to evolve beyond our sins. I contacted the police and told them what happened to Bobby and what’s happening to us here with Father. I’ve sinned again in repentance of former transgressions.

Father told me not to compound my problems, but the police can help. He calls them servants of the Darkness, but I don’t know. I miss my old family, and the police said they can bring me back to them. I’m not the only one who misses their old family. The police call us crazy and my new family wouldn’t agree with my actions, so I don’t know who I can trust. All I ever manage to do is sin, but something needs to change. Father tells us to move forward but I don’t know up from down and left from right. How can I go forward? I just want to help the Family and Father too. I’ll have to apologize to the Family and repent once more; I don’t think I’ve fallen from the Path yet.